Rise of the Devil Tot!!!
She came into my life on. October 20, 2008 at 5:19 PM. She is the culmination of a dream. The perfect wife and perfect child. She says thank you and please in the sweetest little angelic voice. When I come home from work or pick her up at pre school she charges after me full-bore to give me the biggest hug a 30somepound little body can muster. She melts me, destroys me, reduces me to the simplest form of me. She makes life focused yet delightfully crazy. I love to show her off and I love to love her. She makes me want to wipe the world clean of all its imperfections so she never suffers as much as a stubbed toe in her life. I love my little girl…..but……there is always a but. She is a Devil Tot.
I was listening to one of my favorite stand up acts, Lisa Landry, and she calls her son her Devil Tot. I immediately stole that phrase because it is oh so appropriate to use this description. I want to give her credit for two reasons. One because she deserves the credit and any fan of comedy should listen to her act and two because she said I was plagiarizing her term on Facebook. I am plagiarizing the hell out of her term because it is awesome. So back to my L’il Devil Tot.
How can something so little so sweet be so full of Dora the Explorer evil. One of her favorite shows is Dora and there is an episode where Dora and her friends must rescue three friends of which one of the them is Baby Jaguar. My Monster adores this episode and she will run through the house with toilet paper rolls affixed to her eye sockets looking to save Baby Jaguar. It is so precious but then the deep Linda Blair spewing green pea soup voice comes out of her and I am just waiting for her to say Baby Jaguar must die. This deep voice cannot belong to her. She will look me dead in the eyes while searching for the imaginary wild cat and growl “COME WITH ME DADDY”. I am fearful of her. The power of Dora compells you.
I would have it no other way. I have always wanted to be a great husband and spectacular father. I want to show bad fathers how it is supposed to be done. I want her to have the confidence to not need a man to define her, to be able to look a boss in the face and say I can always bring my skills else where, I want her to love life and eventually another man with unbridled passion, and most importantly I want her to love herself. If this means the Devil Tot must rise to the surface from time to time so be it. Life began another incredible chapter on that average October day. I am glad we did not do an exorcism in my wifes womb before the Devil Tot screamed her way into this world and my life. After all who can blame her for her devilishness she is her Momma’s girl.
Please enjoy some Lisa Landry….