An Open Love Letter To My Wife

When I met my wife, I was not looking for a date much less a girlfriend and damn sure not a wife. I was a broken man and quite honestly a bitter man too. I was recently divorced from a very difficult marriage. I had just shared 7 ½ years with someone who was not good for me and I was likely not good for her. It was what it was. It is history now but very painful then. It was the type of relationship that leaves you doubting everything about yourself, the world, and every person living in it. I had gone on three dates with three different women between my first wife and my present wife. I was over sensitive and smarting from the sting of my previous relationship but it seemed all three reminded me in some form or another of my first wife, in a bad way. I really did not trust my emotional judgment. I went out a couple of times with an old girlfriend because it was familiar and safe. She tried to get me to reevaluate the self-destructive mindset I was in. I just did not want to hear what she had to say or believe it. I just wanted to work and rebuild my life.

It will never forget the Thursday afternoon when one of the Pharmacy Technicians that worked for my wife came up to me in the store I worked in and gave me my present wife, Shannon’s, phone number. She told me Shannon was off the next three days and that she would not mind going out with me. I waited until the evening of the last day she was off to call her because I just was not sure what I wanted to do and I could not handle anymore let downs. I spoke with Shannon on the phone that evening for several hours. We planned our first date. I later found out she skipped going home to West Virginia that weekend in the hopes I would call. I did not know at the time we would get married but it retrospect it was one hell of a bad first impression on future in-laws.  Our first date nearly ended our lives. We went to a local Italian restaurant and nearly got into a car accident on the way. Dinner was amazing and the company was even more amazing. We still go to that restaurant for the emotional semblance it has for us. It was our first date and in many ways our last. We never separated from one another since that date. Our time together has been a long wonderful first date. The giddiness and anticipation of that first night has never left me.

We have been married 10 years on May 19, 2011. Ten years have brought so many changes too us. In a decade together we have dealt with the death of family, pets and friends, miscarried pregnancies, the process of infertility, a major car accident, home disasters, work drama, family drama, various sicknesses, a sick but cute child, and dozens of other unexpected life moments. I have never moved in how much I love and respect her in all that time. In fact, it has only grown stronger. I see in her the things she is blind to. She sees the physical and manifests that into the emotional. I see the actual and it only enhances the physical and emotional. I see strength that is immeasurable. I see the loyalty that cannot be touched. I feel the love that healed me. The love that makes you believe in yourself again. The love that makes you feel bigger than you are. She healed this broken man. One of my all time favorite songs is Coldplay’s “Fix Me”. I hope they play that song at my funeral. I hope they play that song and “Jungle Boogie” just to keep people guessing. Shannon echoes the lyrics of that song. She is the light that guides me home and she did fix me.

My love for her knows no bounds. When she is having a bad day my heart weeps. When she doubts herself I want to scream. When someone hurts her I am a heartbeat from a jail sentence for hurting that person. I breathe her love. My life is enriched by her merely existing in it. Life began with her. In the 29 years before I met Shannon I had been married, a police officer, and lived in a different world. Life only made sense when I met her. Our life now has new challenges.  A new baby means balancing schedules, family, and home in a completely different way. It brings new stresses but so does getting older in general. I never worry too much though. I know that I was blessed with a hell of a co-pilot in life. Work, external family stress, the general craziness of the worlds order takes a back seat to the amazing life I have when I am at home with my wife and child. My daughter, Emma, could not have a better Mommy, friend, and mentor than Shannon.  I love you Shannon and it only gets better and stronger over time. Happy Tenth Anniversary!!!

I hope you all are as lucky as I am. Thank you for reading this open love letter. I hope you will enjoy the short Monster Movie I made for my girl.

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Posted on May 19, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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