Infertility: The Strength of Women
I have been witness to many amazing things in my life. I saw things as a police officer that others can only hope to be a work of fiction. I have observed some amazing things in life but they all pale in comparison to watching the strength of a woman. The strength of my wife to be more precise. When we married we had an agreement on children. I wanted children but she was uncertain at the time. I accepted her feelings and was ready to live with any choice she made. After we were married for a handful of years I took a phone call from her while I was at work. She told me she was pregnant. I was over the top happy and called everyone I could to share the news. A week later we lost the baby. I was beside myself. My wife was crushed and we were about to begin a trip down the road of fertility clinics and continuing self-doubt.
The journey we embarked on taught me something I should have already known…women are amazing. I watched my wife internalize every fear she had from needles to lack of confidence to cabin fever without a complaint. As anyone that has done an IVF cycle knows there are a million shots you will endure. My wife has a fear of needles. We had a full panel of blood work done together at the clinic. We both had to give several vials of blood. When we left the clinic we were barely two minutes down the road when the clinic called and said they had mixed up our blood samples and needed us to come back and give more samples. I would have expected her to freak out but she did not flinch and returned to give her blood. She is a woman who goes bonkers if she is stuck in the house for a day yet she never flinched at doing 8 months bed rest. I purposely wrote that last line as if she were serving a sentence. When she was mostly alone in that room she had to be aware of every odd action her body made. How many times was she scared to death something was wrong and no one was there to calm her down? She took leave from her job and never worried if it would be there when the baby came. We never believed our daughter would get here. Even the day she was born we were waiting for that nasty bastard named Lightning to strike. When we lost our first baby the doctors simple response to this painful day was that sometimes Lightning strikes…screw lightning and all her friends.
People that do not deal with infertility simply do not understand and have a hard time doing so. To want something so bad that seems to be as easy as buttering to toast to others but is like climbing Everest naked to you is a huge albatross to bear. Women do this easily. They cry and feel the pain, no doubt, but they find a way to move forward and try again. If you are a woman going through a fertility clinic to have a child have faith, try as long as it makes sense, and love yourself and your spouse. It can and does work. You need to know this, if your tenacity could be bottled it would sell for millions. I love you all and have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year like every other year I am thankful for my hero, my wife and the mother of my IVF child.